Hayate's Great Escape
by Desbelleschoses
Summary: "Riza was a patient woman. She corralled a group of man-children into working each day; she kept herself from reprimanding Edward and Alphonse when they came back from a mission with more collateral damage than the government could afford. She spent years underneath the smothering and questions from Maes Hughes and never batted an eye. But this..."


**A/N: This week has been weird, so I decided to write a one-shot to clear my head so I can refocus on WWG. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Hayate's Great Escape**

Riza swept her bangs away from her face and scowled. In her hand she gripped a black corded leash, wrapped around itself several times. At the end a brown leather collar hung limply, the metal tags clanging against each other, adding to the clicking of her heels every time she moved. She was a patient woman. She corralled a group of man-children into working each day; she kept herself from reprimanding Edward and Alphonse when they came back from a mission with more collateral damage than the government could afford. She spent years underneath the smothering and questions from Maes Hughes and never batted an eye. But this...

"Braha!" She raised her voice, calling far more attention to herself than she would have liked. Her ever-faithful, predictable, constant companion had betrayed her. Even with her sharp sight, she couldn't catch what it was that made him slip his collar. Not once had he ever fought against her on a walk, and even still she made sure that his collar always fit properly. It was desperation that made him act this way; she was sure of it.

There were few places that she took him on a regular basis, places where he would feel safe. The first was her apartment, but it would be illogical for the dog to go back home when he had run away from her. Black Hayate was smarter than that. Aside from home, he spent the most time with her at work, but it was the weekend. He would have known that no one would be there because she wasn't in uniform. Really, people didn't give the pup enough credit. A trip to the payphone had put her in touch with Kain, who denied having seen him and promised to call if he turned up.

Now, every step she took brought her closer to what she considered Black Hayate's final option. "Braha!" She tried her best to keep her voice level. It was enough that she was walking the streets in search of her dog; she didn't need to shout like a madwoman on top of that. Never before had she been so furious with her pet. She stopped at the edge of the sidewalk and waited for the road to clear before hurrying across, ignoring the crosswalk at the end of the block. Instinctually, she swept down her first right and took an immediate turn to cut across an unfenced backyard. She moved between two houses and once again walked down the sidewalk.

At the end of the road stood several identical homes, all painted white with black rooves. Each door was painted black and the mailboxes stood at the same height. She hated the uniformity, but the housing allowance from the military wasn't sizeable until a soldier maintained the rank of general for a year. Ever since his promotion, Roy had kept a callender on his desk at work and on his kitchen wall, counting down the days until he could move. Until that point, he was trapped in the cookie-cutter community that forced him to buy curtains that were white on the back side, claiming presentability or some such stupidity. In one last cry of defiance, he had dared to leave his holiday lights strung up well past the removal date, he even had the audacity to turn them on on random nights, always shutting them off just before someone came to complain. As petty as it was, she had to admit that she found it just as amusing as he did.

She lifted her hand to knock on the front door, but it flew open before she had the chance. Her knuckles stopped just short of rapping her commanding officer across the forehead. "Sir, have you seen-"

Roy grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the house, swiftly closing the door behind them. Riza looked at him in wide-eyed confusion, noting his disheveled appearance and crazed look in his eye. He placed both hands on her shoulders and moved her out of the way so that he could run into the living room. "No! I told you no!"

His shout was met with a storm of barking, undercut by several short whines. When she rounded the corner, she had to look twice to confirm what she saw. Black Hayate had his teeth in Roy's pants leg and was tugging sharply backwards. Roy had his hands underneath a second dog, this one white and crying.

"You are not giving birth on my brand new couch!" Roy shouted, pulling the dog down to the floor. Black Hayate let out a low growl as he moved to stand over the white dog.

"Braha!" Riza called sharply. He was acting entirely out of character. At his master's voice, Black Hayate dropped down slightly and flattened his ears. They made eye contact for a brief moment before he turned his attention away and began growling again.

Riza set the leash down on the coffee table before approaching the scene. She used one hand to move Roy back and placed herself where he had been standing. "Hayate," she commanded, leaving no room for negotiation. He was to stand down. The dog looked up at his master, still in a defensive position. There was no movement from either party until the white dog let out another whimper. Black Hayate jumped back, looking down in concern. Riza took the opportunity to kneel on the wooden floor and slowly extended her right hand. When she made contact with the white dog's head, she gave a few reassuring scratches behind the ear. "Roy, go get several towels. I'm going to try to move her to the bathroom."

"I didn't sign up for this!" Roy protested, but he still did as he was told. He pulled out the oldest towels he could find, growling under his breath about his day off and not being a midwife.

Riza slowly slipped Black Hayate's collar around the dog's neck and gave a small tug at the leash. The dog whimpered in response. Riza stood and tried again, murmuring reassurances. If she was half as intelligent as Black Hayate, she would realize that help was being offered. With some gentle coaxing, Riza was able to slowly lead the dog down the hallway. By walking backwards, she kept an eye on the dog to make sure she didn't panic. A few steps brought Riza's back against a door; she reached behind her and opened it. Roy looked over at her in alarm as he started down the hallway with an armful of towels.

"Oh, come on!" he protested. "Riza, that's _my_ bathroom."

"I am not helping this dog give birth in your half-bath off the living room. The master bathroom is bigger, and we need all the space we can get." With a final tug on the leash, she corralled the dog onto the tile floor. "Towels."

Roy placed a towel in her outstretched hand and continued to supply them as she lay them on the ground. Black Hayate twisted around his legs, trying to squeeze past him into the bathroom. "No, boy," he scolded, moving his legs to keep the dog from getting by.

"Can you go get Braha's dog bed?" Riza asked as she removed the white dog's collar and guided her down onto the towels. "And keep him locked in the bedroom. I'm afraid he's going to act out again."

Black Hayate let out an 'arf' of surprise when he was picked up, his legs dangling in the air. He made contact with the plush comforter moments later, and Roy kneeled on the ground beside the bed. "Listen, boy," Roy began as he reached underneath his bed. "Your mom and I are going to take good care of her. You need to stay out here for now." His fingers finally found the cloth edge of the dog bed. As he stood back up, his tone of voice changed. "Remain calm, stay put, and be patient. That's an order, Second Lieutenant."

Black Hayate barked in return, but Roy didn't wait for him to reply. With a soft whine, he walked to the foot of the bed. He circled in place several times before flopping down with apathy. His head came to rest on his paws, his eyes fixed on the bathroom door. If he listened close enough, he could hear his master's voice. It was usually followed by second-master's lower tone. As long as he could hear them, he felt safe. She was safe. It was when he heard silence that he began to cry, circling on the bed in an act of anxiety. When the voices started back up, he would lie down again, waiting for the cycle to repeat itself.

The hours felt like days in dog years. Following orders became more and more difficult. Unable to bear it anymore, Black Hayate jumped down from the bed and walked to the bathroom door. He could still hear his masters, but there was a new smell in the room. He whined loudly, but when he got no reaction, he began to bark at the door. Hearing movement, he jumped back, tail wagging at his success. He was relieved to see that it was Roy who slipped past the door; Riza was bound to be displeased with him.

Roy walked over to the bed and snapped his fingers once. "Up." Black Hayate obeyed and jumped onto the bed, tail still wagging as he sat down. "Stay," was his next command. It was then that Roy moved his left hand from his chest, bringing the puppy he was holding to rest in both his palms. "Easy," he coaxed, unsure of how Black Hayate would react.

Black Hayate leaned forward and sniffed at the foreign object, making sure to smell every part of it. He sat back and cocked his head to the side, then to the other. When he stood, he moved too quickly, causing Roy to pull the small animal back to his chest. "Easy," he repeated, showing him the puppy once more. Black Hayate inched closer and bent his head, giving the puppy a lick. Roy sighed in relief and called "He's fine with them!"

Riza opened the door to the bathroom. "Good. We don't have to keep them cooped up in here, then." All the same, she shut the door behind her. "Everyone needs rest right now; he can meet them all later." She sat down on the edge of the bed and scratched Hayate's head. "It was time to get him a new bed, anyway."

"Yeah," Roy mused absentmindedly. The white puppy in his hand had begun to suck at his index finger, which he happily allowed.

"You should put it back with its mother. It needs to nurse."

"That's not gonna work." When Riza looked at him in stunned confusion, he clarified. "Calling them 'it'. They need names."

"I just helped birth three puppies. Names can wait."

"What about Edward?" His thigh was met with a soft slap. "Okay, so no naming the puppies after the pipsqueak. It would have been funny though."

The puppy had begun to whine, and it was with great reluctance that Roy moved it back to its mother. When he sat down on his bed once more, he declared "We need to at least name the mother. 'White dog and the puppies' sounds like some shitty, family-oriented garage band." Riza let out a snort, and Roy grinned, pleased that his joke had landed. "So, what do you say?"

"I say that we don't know if she has an owner. We need to look for fliers and in the newspaper. Someone could be missing her."

"Or no one owns her, and she doesn't have a home. In which case, we could call her..."

"I don't know, Roy," Riza huffed in exasperation. "Why don't you name her?"

"How about Kaida?"

"You want to name the dog 'little dragon?'"

"You named your dog 'black hurricane.'" Roy smirked at Riza, who had pulled Black Hayate into her lap.

"Just be careful. Naming things makes them hard to let go of." Riza looked up at him, her lips pulled into a thin line. "If she belongs to someone else, you have to give her back." Seeing the look of disappointment on Roy's face, her eyes softened. "You really want to keep her."

"I mean, yeah. I want us to keep all four of them. It'd be cruel to take this guy's family away." Roy scratched Black Hayate's side, causing the dog to rapidly thump his leg against the bed. Hayate jumped down from the bed and went to lie against the bathroom door. When Roy turned his attention back to Riza, he saw that she had quirked an eyebrow at the word _us_. "You see, if you own one of the parents and I own the other, it'd make sense that we would want them together as much as possible."

Riza smiled and shook her head. "You always have an ulterior motive. Is that really why you want to keep the dog?"

"It's not the only reason, but it's high on the list of pros." Roy shrugged. "I think Hayate would appreciate it, too." He lifted a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it as he stretched. "He's pretty much our kid, you know."

If Riza hadn't been looking directly at him, she would have missed the glint in his eye. She had seen that look many times over the years, and not once had it been a good sign. "What are you thinking?" she asked warily.

"Someone has to call Grumps and tell him he's a great-grandfather."

"Roy Mustang, don't you dare," Riza threatened to his back before starting to chase him down the hallway. Hayate lifted his head and watched the scene, but he soon lost interest. With a flick of his ear, he rested his head back against the door. They'd be back soon enough.


End file.
